But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
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