whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
