We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
