PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
