There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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