The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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