Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Randomize
