Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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