More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
