I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
