he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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