He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Randomize
