My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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