whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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