I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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