Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
