Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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