That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize