yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
