Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize