Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
