Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Randomize
