Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
