Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
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