ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
