Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Sorry about my life...
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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