Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
