My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
