She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
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I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
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