i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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