was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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