fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
