I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
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