I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
He shit in the fireplace
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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