i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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