We're facebook friends in real life
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
