i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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