It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize