that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
