scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
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Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
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Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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