Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
