i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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