Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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