So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
