my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
