I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize