Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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