If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
