This dress was meant to end up on your floor
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
