Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
