id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
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