I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
My friends, they love my intelligence
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
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