my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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