were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize