shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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