If i come over, it means nothing
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Randomize
