I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
