Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
