So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
