My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
i used baking grease as lip gloss
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
