She said her name was "party"
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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