SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
