Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.