This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
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You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
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Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa