return my video game
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
