I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today