Texts From Last Night

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  (320): View more from Minnesota

  It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.

  (320): View more from Minnesota

  He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.

  (406): View more from Montana

  Ok, i'm coming over

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  (320): It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now. (320): He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage. (406): Ok, i'm coming over http://tfl.nu/vi8g
  Replies (6) Good night (3984) Bad night (622)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.

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  (407): It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest. http://tfl.nu/ndz5
  Replies (52) Good night (16274) Bad night (1167)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind

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  (201): i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind http://tfl.nu/v27a
  Replies (7) Good night (3330) Bad night (1526)
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  (661): View more from California

  Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.

  (1-661): View more from California

  Lol thats a classic

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  (661): Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me. (1-661): Lol thats a classic http://tfl.nu/zpo3
  Replies (31) Good night (5140) Bad night (904)
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished

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  (415): He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished http://tfl.nu/a96t
  Replies (7) Good night (2498) Bad night (598)
• Favorite

  (928): View more from Arizona

  proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors

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  (928): proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors http://tfl.nu/6slk
  Replies (2) Good night (1677) Bad night (627)
• Favorite

  (937): View more from Ohio

  When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.

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  (937): When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary. http://tfl.nu/v8si
  Replies (2) Good night (1273) Bad night (834)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.

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  (330): It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights. http://tfl.nu/79ia
  Replies (4) Good night (1983) Bad night (696)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  Male strippers are involved. You are coming

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  (850): Male strippers are involved. You are coming http://tfl.nu/f6cz
  Replies (4) Good night (1070) Bad night (403)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla

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  (615): Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla http://tfl.nu/8j5u
  Replies (3) Good night (385) Bad night (711)
• Favorite

  (915): View more from Texas

  God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.

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  (915): God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high. http://tfl.nu/a3ox
  Replies (4) Good night (1110) Bad night (391)
• Favorite

  (250): View more from British Columbia

  I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.

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  (250): I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night. http://tfl.nu/j1jk
  Replies (4) Good night (937) Bad night (388)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.

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  (541): Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god. http://tfl.nu/ma7j
  Replies (0) Good night (287) Bad night (495)
• Favorite

  (712): View more from Iowa

  I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I'm honored.

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  (712): I don't question myself. That's what I have you for. (402): I'm honored. http://tfl.nu/7y62
  Replies (3) Good night (663) Bad night (426)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?

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  (732): is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex? http://tfl.nu/6ehb
  Replies (10) Good night (672) Bad night (333)

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