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• (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(

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• (727): View more from Florida

  He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important

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• (805): View more from California

  I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.

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  You Wouldn’t Guess That These 25 Celebrities Are Complete A**holes

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• (315): View more from New York

  mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?

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• (404): View more from Georgia

  You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."

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• (304): View more from West Virginia

  I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay

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• (704): View more from North Carolina

  Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.

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• (818): View more from California

  I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing

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  27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks

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• (317): View more from Indiana

  SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.

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• (312): View more from Illinois

  I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future

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• (206): View more from Washington

  You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.

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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.

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