I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
