Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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