Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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