You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Randomize
